The world has a way of making you feel like you are not worthy, you are not enough and then we meet people who push the agenda. Intentionally or unintentionally, you pour yourself into people who end up using your insecurities, trauma, and pain against you. And those are the ones we cling onto, who we fall in love with and who we choose to give endless chances to keep pushing the knife, creating a bigger womb. Although we know that the person/people will not change, the actions will not change and childish behavior becomes increasingly present with each conversation, yet we still hold on. My question to myself and others is why continue to put ourselves through the torture of loving someone who does not deserve the love that we give? I really hate myself sometimes for allowing people to show me who they are, but I cannot help but want better for them. I always thought I was the better, but with time I realized I am nothing. Nothing to them. So I became everything to myself. The insults start to come in the context of jokes that leave you feeling empty, questioning yourself and your ability to be more. The conversations become less and less relevant and more about meaningless topics with no substance. The world is so cruel, and everyone looks the same, walks the same, talks the same. It is scary to visualize a world where you are happy because no one values people anymore, no one cares about family or friends and relationships are just sexual interactions amongst friends or strangers. I can say with confidence that I am happy I did not let people, social media and society dictate who I am at my core. I am not walking around like everybody; I am walking around like ME! 38 years around the sun and i’m still genuinely Me! Be YOU because everybody else is taken.
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